When what we know must fade away

God has impressed on me a few things very recently - He is the master of my ship. This body, mind and will which we have are a gift from Him.

I used to studiously read spiritual books under the apprehension that it was wise to be spiritually informed so one would know what to do when the time came. I quickly realised that for all I knew, the devil was a smarter adversary than I could have imagined. For every book we may read on spiritual warfare the devil had a hundred more tricks left up his sleeve.

With this realisation of futility came a striking simple answer from the Gospel, God resists the wise and gives grace to the humble. Our spiritual life is enriched by knowledge but it is not dependant on it.

St Isaac the Syrian wrote a man needs knowledge as guide until he acquires faith but once he has achieved faith knowledge will no longer be required. Most of the quotes from St Isaac are striking and this is no different.

I wondered what this could mean...

St Philoxenus wrote in a way that made me think faith is like a sensory perception in the soul where we can sense God's presence. What is so special about faith, and how does it put an end to the need to acquire knowledge, to progress in ones journey towards God?

Abraham, the father of faith and believers, is a prime example of what faith can do when he was asked by God to sacrifice his only son. Many of us after waiting until such an old age before having our first child would be thinking "How can God be asking this of me"? Abraham somehow knew God never intended harm for his son and he said to companions before climbing the mountain "we will go and worship and we will return to you". Abraham secretly knew something that few of us know and only God can share it with us.

St Philoxenus writes in his first treatise on faith that the law of faith is so strong that even God obeys it.

With this in mind, my eyes open, the Holy Spirit impressed on me was that HE is necessary for my spiritual growth. The knowledge and direction I need will come from Him not me. In modern western life we put so much emphasis on having opinions and making decisions for ourselves from personal freedoms but the spiritual life is not like this. The selfish inner man must die if we are to allow the newness of Christ to be allowed within us. If the Holy Spirit is not my ultimate spiritual director - I will not be able to achieve growth in Christ.

God has a plan for all of us. We must ask like St Anthony "Lord, what must I do to be saved" each and day and be diligent obeying the response that comes.

Glory be to Him who lives forever and ever Amen!